As Nate flew off today to California, not to return for two weeks, I contemplated if I had ever lived alone for such a long stretch of time (and oh man, it’s not even that long). I think there have been weeks here and there where I lived by myself, but I always had friends to hang out with or family to go to whenever I felt lonely. This is something different. Here I am 3,000 miles away from family and 8 hours driving by car to my nearest close friend. Of course all are just a phone call away, but it’s different this time, I have no idea why. It’s the little things, like coming home with no porch light on, cold house.
Strangely, I’m peering into this unknown territory with some curiosity and even optimism, but I can feel the stress closing in as things around me begin to change ever so slightly, but just enough to break apart my comfortable sense of routine that I figured would at least keep me company throughout the coming weeks.
Crisis number one: No morning coffee for tomorrow, my first full day alone. Since I haven’t been grocery shopping for over a week, there is no food to speak of, and worst of all, no coffee. I am NEVER out of coffee. Luckily, I happen to have a Starbucks gift card hanging out in my purse, so tomorrow I shall fight through my 6:30am alarm and 7:30 bus to get to the Starbucks like a zombie. Saved!
Second crisis: My fragile sense of normalcy disrupted once again as equipment at work gets shifted around. This wouldn’t be so bad but it’s compounded by the computer guy upgrading me to Windows 7, and now I must get used to a new operating system as well as a new workspace. Am I really such a creature of habit? Sadly yes. Ways I have devised to keep sane: the podcast of “This American Life” by NPR, through which I can hear a voice at home, singing loudly to music while doing the dishes, and planning my meals for the week so I don’t stare blankly at the grocery store shelves and just eat Mac ‘n Cheese every night (I have been known to do this). Now I just have to GO to the grocery store. I think lack of coffee has sealed the deal on that one, will definitely go ASAP! We’ll see now how the rest of the week pans out.